In the United States, a new trend is sparking as much enthusiasm as it is controversy: “granny showers”—parties organized in honor of future grandmothers. Between heartfelt initiative and questionable self-promotion, these celebrations raise questions about the role grandparents do—or should—play in the arrival of a newborn.
- A trend from the USA: “granny showers” celebrate future grandmothers
- The debate divides: between sincere attention and misplaced quest for visibility
- Voices call for moderation: no gifts, no organization without parental consent
- Suggested alternatives: cooking workshops or practical mutual help to support young parents
- An evolution in family rites that questions the place of generations and excesses of individualism
What are granny showers?
We’re all familiar with baby showers—those parties held to celebrate the arrival of a child and, more importantly, to support the expectant parents. Straight from the U.S., the concept is now extending to grandmothers. Originally, there was no such thing as a formal granny shower—just simple gestures: a small cake at the office, a congratulatory card, a book of grandparenting advice… Today, however, these gestures are sometimes blown out of proportion, occasionally stealing the spotlight from the original baby shower by adopting the same codes—lavish parties, gift registries, buffets…
According to DeeDee Moore, creator of the website More Than Grand and a prominent voice on parenting topics across social media, the trend reflects a shift in social norms. “There are two types of granny showers,” she explains. “First opinion: they’re a lovely way to welcome a friend or colleague into her new role. Second opinion: they’re tacky and inappropriate attempts to get gifts.”
When the party overshadows the parents
It’s with the second interpretation that boundaries sometimes get crossed. Historically, baby showers are meant to help new parents cover their baby’s initial needs. “It’s harder to justify a party for a future grandmother, who can usually afford the initial gear herself,” Moore notes. What’s more, the multiplication of such events could detract from the people most directly affected: the parents.
On social media, debate is raging. While some users share fond memories of modest granny showers, others criticize situations where the grandmother throws the party herself—risking eclipsing the future mom.
TikTok user @Lucy Seay recounted: “My mother-in-law forced her coworkers to throw her a baby shower. A whole party FOR HER. Not for my baby, not for me.” Another user, @channing’swife, has a clear stance: “No. Granny showers are in bad taste. The grandmother already had her party when she was pregnant.”
Granny showers—yes, but with boundaries
One thing is clear: the emotional significance of becoming a grandparent shouldn’t be dismissed. Some stories, like that of Alexandra Rugh told in HuffPost, show what such a celebration can mean. Her 73-year-old grandmother received a surprise granny shower before undergoing heart surgery—a precious moment of joy, seen as a symbolic connection to the unborn child. “She was afraid she’d die without ever holding her great-granddaughter. That party gave her hope,” she shared.
But to avoid things getting out of hand, etiquette experts recommend moderation. Lizzie Post of the Emily Post Institute advises keeping it low-key: “It’s wonderful to acknowledge someone’s new role. But be careful not to overdo it in a way that shifts focus from what really matters.”
Ultimately, like everything in life, it’s a question of balance—even for granny showers.
Toward more helpful alternatives
Some suggest alternatives to the granny shower. DeeDee Moore, for example, proposes “meal prep parties”: cooking sessions with loved ones to prepare meals for the new parents. It’s a more practical way to celebrate this new chapter—offering time and useful support in a period often filled with chaos and fatigue.
A new ritual in need of framing?
The rise of granny showers undoubtedly reflects our times: more connected, more emotionally attuned—but also more prone to excess. While the idea of celebrating a future grandmother can be touching in an intimate setting, it raises eyebrows when it becomes a full-fledged event competing with the parents’ own celebration.
As with many emerging rituals, context, intention, and moderation, make all the difference.
The Golden Rules of a Successful Granny Shower
- Don’t plan the party without discussing it with the parents.
- Avoid gift registries or formal gift requests.
- Favor a discreet gathering with close friends or colleagues.
- Stay focused on the essentials: supporting the parents, celebrating family.
Granny showers are neither inherently harmful nor a major social advance. Rather, they reflect today’s tensions around family roles, attention-sharing, and individualism. Celebrating a grandmother’s love for her future grandchild is a beautiful idea—so long as it doesn’t come at the expense of those about to become parents for the first time.
Published by the Editorial Staff on